"Greetings, traveler! You seek the Friar's famed concoctions? Excellent, excellent! We have sauces here that'll make your tongue sing, your eyes water, and your memories... well, who needs memories when you've got flavor like this, eh? Now, which kingdom's fire calls to you? Was it the one with the... the bouncy fruits, or the one with the sad onions? Ah, never mind! Just point to whatever looks spiciest, and I'll whip you up a batch that'll make you forget your name!"